xoxo, panda

In about a half hour I'll be off to Chicago. Tomorrow morning I have a meeting with some people at Columbia. The school is pretty fantastic but I don't exactly see myself living in Chicago. Oh well, I at least owe it a chance. Especially, because I might be getting a scholarship there. They special in media, communications, and fine arts. It seems like there would be a lot of people to collab with and many new friends to meet.
Monday I have a photoshoot for an energy drink. I'm suppose to be like the bad rock n roll esque girl and the girl next to me is going to be like a classy blonde. Should be a good time, I'm excited.

On that note, last week I did a photoshoot for my new winter collection entitled "Cross Bone Style", named after the song, of course. Its three dresses that I wanted out for the holiday season but I won't be finishing my main winter collection till the begining of december.
The winter collection is going to be really dark, and sort of will scream "NUCULAR FUCKING WINTER"... in a good way, haha.

Anyways, I've got to pack...
lots of love,
clevergirl

the lion's den

from the morning when I rise, till the late night when I lay my head in slumber,

I remember...

Oh, the loss of you does wreck my days.

sleepy tigers

So today I was sitting in the bathtub, lights dim and my favortie indie tracks on repeat. I'm relaxing in a bubble bath, sketching book nearby and I begin to mess around with paints and colors. My mother opens the double doors and glaces over to the foggy mirror while saying, "You know, art is just a way to escape responsibility, its not real". I replied, "And your harvard law degree is just a piece of paper that makes you feel better about youself". She scoffed as she slammed the door. My father bought me a card today and one of my old favortie movies. He complimented my sketches and kissed me on the cheek. They both view life so very diffrently, I find it crazy that they have kept a relationship for so long. In any case, I've got one kiss on the cheek and a bag full of insults. What to do with it all, what to do...

Mother yelled at me for painting on the wall in the back garden. I said ‘It’ll be something to remember me by when I‘m dead.’ She went back inside.
Soon i'll become within the walls of my own home. A voice no longer heard along with footsteps, deep breaths, and tantrums. The sounds i put into the house no longer contribute to the foundation. I might as well have died and had the remainder of my flesh and soul cemented into its walls, so at least i could be there to watch them live on without me.

hands

If I was there with her, I would tell her that you don't have to be anybody, I would know..

because being somebody dosen't really make you anybody at all.

somebody

Once upon a time there was a pretty girl who lived in a beautiful house and

all the town's people loved her. But, the town's people were very very

greedy. So every night when the girl went to sleep, the

town's people would come into the girl's room

and steal a piece of her golden hair, until

she had no more.

parisian blues

"so, what do you want to do in life?"

move to europe & live upstairs from dusty cafes.

"oh? where in europe?"

everywhere. paris, prague. anywhere.

"isn't paris a bit gloomy?"

oh, i'm sure i'll fit right in. i always look like i'm on my way to a morgue.

"you know, a lot of students say they're moving to europe.."

mhm?

"but they don't mean it. i think you really do, i think you will."

yeah.

"will you ever come back?"

no.

Respuesta

strength in these times is the name of the game, if you don't have that then you don't have anything.
This weekend I have to finish my applications for Columiba and NYU, everything is just around the corner. 1st quarter will be finishing next week and I can't believe how fast it went by, oh wait... I was in LA half of the time, haha.

currently working on my spanish, I'm getting pretty good, so drop a line en espanol
xoxo

gracias bellas

trilingual

Focusing on languge is not an easy task, but i love it. Everyone at my school thinks I'm so crazy for taking two languages but I can't help it. Spanish is so much fun and French is of course my first love. I've been studying it for four years. I know I will be very flunet for my study abroad in Paris this comming march. Recently, I've been given advice to pick up a third language. Which I'm most likely going to go ahead and do. My professor said I should pick somthing non-western.. Like arabic or chineese. So after Christmas Break, I will begin to pick up a third (fourth if you count english lol), languge. I honestly want to be able to speak as many languages as possible, and this is one of my gifts. I'm blessed to be able to hear and understand with ease in another languge. I love it, I just love it.

ce jeu

today I've been working on my college essay and studying for tomorrow's exams. I get to teach french to 8th graders tomorrow, I think it will be fun && its my favorite subject so why shouldn't it be great?
everything is comming at me so fast, this is really such a trasitional year.
so many lessons to be learned and choices to make.